We won't sleep together?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
