her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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