Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
