We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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