none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
