I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
