is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
