So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
