hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
