five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
