help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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