yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
ttyl tear gas
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
