I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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