My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
