The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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