when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
