Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
