He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
