New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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