i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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