NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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