i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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