im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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