So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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