My nipple is on Facebook.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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