i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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