Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
