He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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