The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
