Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
