Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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