All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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