So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Even my vagina gasped.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
