it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
and she was petting her beer can
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
