I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
