I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize