just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
