I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I don't think brook has ever known best
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
