right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
