If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This is the high leading the old right now
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
