I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
