I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So much rum. So many feels.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
