Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
