i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
there is glitter all over my balls
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