Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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