we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
