Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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