My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
