We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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