i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
birth control should be required to get into college
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
