I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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