Those balls look pretty dangerous.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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