I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
