dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
