I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
