I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
