She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
