Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
