yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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