apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
