You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
