I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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