Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
