I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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