I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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