Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
the gays at disneyland are vicious
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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