I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
