and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
